Jennifer Myers - My Life As An Offering

to Love, to Live

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

How valuable the heart truly is, and how priceless it is to GOD. For many years I have given it away too easily or I have tried to guard it on my own. I have been coming before GOD and continue to with the simple prayer...what is Love? What does it mean to Love, to receive Love, to Love others, to Love GOD?

And it begins with vulnerability. So I share with you my prayer from the beginning of the year where I stood timid, fearful, lost, and with a heart in need of healing.

January 3, 2009
I am in your hands, GOD! You have my heart....the heart that has for too long been closed off is learning about freedom and acceptance in your Love. My heart beats to Love radically, GOD. It comes alive in you. May my life bring glory and praise to you. May you be honored in each moment with each breath. I long to be a servant for you, GOD. I don't know what all that entails, but I will listen and obey. I need to get past myself so that you are seen. I rejoice through the tears, GOD, that you have heard the cry of my heart.

and HE reveals more of HIS Love...

Through the real, raw, and in depth conversations that have taken place, I learned that Love requires vulnerability, transparency, and honesty. (Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good Romans 12:9)

As Gloria cried with me, Lucia grabbed my hand, Katya wrapped her arms around me, I learned that Love is selfless, not expecting or requiring anything in return. (Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good Romans 12:9)

Through preparing and serving meals to the homeless, I learned that Love flourishes within a servant's heart. (Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves Romans 12:10)

As my family, the body of Christ, has together encouraged, corrected, listened to, challenged, served, prayed, shared Truth with one another, and much more... I learned that Love is living the Life GOD calls us to live as the body, always seeking and praising God, the One who fills us with Love. (Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord Romans 12:11)

Through my friendship with Stella, I learned that Love is filled with compassion and truly trusting GOD in all circumstances and situations. (Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer Romans 12:12)

As GOD led me in prayer, walking through the bars in Thailand, I learned that Love does not judge or compare, but is filled with grace and patience, and a desire to understand one's heart. (Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer Romans 12:12)

Through the grieving of leaving family and those I have met along the way, I have learned that Love is not based on physical presence, but is present in the way GOD connects our hearts that we are able to rejoice together and pray for one another. (Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer Romans 12:12)

As food has been shared, possessions given away, and being welcomed into many homes around the world, I learned that Love is understanding that all that I am blessed with is not "mine". It is giving and sharing joyfully. (Share with GOD's people who are in need. Practice hospitality Romans 12:13)

Now I am not one to say, that this is all Love is and confine it to these boundaries or try to define it in words, as that is impossible. But I share with you just a bit of what GOD has been teaching me about Love, HIS Love, knowing that I will continue to learn the rest of my life, and yet living it out as I walk with HIM, praising HIM in it all.

Questions With a Side of Coffee

Mon, 9 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The past few weeks have provided great incite for what we may experience when we return home. We have been asked several common questions, such as, "What are you doing after the race?" or "What was your favorite country?" We have also been asked several more in depth questions, like, "What has GOD taught you?" and "How are you going to be change agents, taking what you have learned and applying it back to life at home?"

These conversations and discussions have really made me come to the simple truth that instead of returning with all the answers, I am actually returning with more questions.

What a great place to be!

Our ministry here at Global Cafe has allowed for many conversations to take place. As I was talking with an individual the other day, I found that as we shared our hearts with one another, we both had a lot of questions... questions we don't have answers for, and may not really understand, but we are grateful that we do know where to find answers, and even discover more questions.

I have realized that GOD is not just a topic to study and memorize, but that HE is alive, waiting for us to come to him, to ask our questions, to study HIS word and Truth, and to listen and trust in HIM.

As I have been preparing to return home and enter this next season of life, I have been meditating on 2 John 9, which states, Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have GOD; whoever continues in the teaching has both the father and the son.

I do not want to run ahead, but continue walking with HIM!

I am content with the knowledge GOD has revealed to me, thus far, and I praise HIM for the desire HE has filled me with to seek HIM more. Therefore, I do not stand still, stagnant with what HE has taught me, but eager to know HIM more, to be open to any wisdom HE imparts, and thankful for the questions I have.

For HE continues to build on the firm foundation HE has created in me and I continue to learn and grow in the midst of the questions.

HIS Will...

Thu, 5 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

is always the right will to follow!

When we prayed into our ATL (Ask the Lord) month, we felt led to Croatia and Venice, Italy. We weren't positive on what that really meant as we worked hard to find contacts and transportation to Venice and Croatia and struggled to get a clear plan, especially within our limited budget. Some of us wondered if our own desires might be getting in the way of really hearing GOD, as it is our last month on the race and it would be easy to just want to travel to as many countries as we could that we wanted to see before we head home. But that isn't what we wanted. We knew this month was just as important as the previous ten. We knew we needed to just follow where we felt led. After making the final decision to head to Croatia, things began to fall into place. GOD took us further.

The cheapest way we could find to get to Croatia was to take a flight to Krakow, Poland, stay there a week, and then fly to Venice, Italy. We knew that trains and buses left from Venice to Croatia and that would be the cheapest route for us. We greatly enjoyed our time in Krakow. Many of us were not ready to leave, especially, to head to Venice, where we had no place to stay. But we knew we had to go. We knew we were being called to Croatia. When we arrived in Venice, more began to fall into place leading us on our journey to Croatia. We arrived, and as we worked out transportation to Croatia, we were blessed with four free 72 hour water taxi passes from a tourist in Venice who was leaving that day. We found a hostel that cut its prices in half and provided us with a beautiful view, our own beds, and internet. And our transportation to Croatia did not leave until the following day at 9:00 in the evening. So we were able to stay a few days in Venice, exploring it together, and just taking in Italy. GOD certainly provided and blessed us over and over again.

We finally arrived in Split, Croatia on the 5^th of November where we are working with Global Cafe. This organization has already amazed me and I am excited to be a part of their mission. We are working at the cafe, interceding, sharing our testimonies, and building relationships. It is a wonderful ministry to be a part of. I continue to be in awe of where GOD leads us. HE gave us a direction, and as we followed HIM, HE took us down a journey that we could never have imagined or planned ourselves.

I remember sharing with those in Krakow, how this journey has more than just changed my perspective. It isn't just my career, clothes, and soon to be age that is different. It is a lifestyle change. One, where I strive to seek GOD's will, not my own and go...

Why, You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." James 4:14-15

A Week Review of Krakow, Poland

Mon, 2 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I want to stay longer!

I think that sums it up well!

Okay, for those of you who are looking for a bit more information continue reading on...

We arrived late Monday night on the 26^th of October to an amazing hostel that provided us with warm, comfortable beds, breakfast every morning, free wifi, and a free dinner every Thursday night. So as I write this description, I can be found resting in the lounge area of the hostel, drinking tea, and listening to jazz. The environment just sparks the creative mindset. But really, this does set the tone for why I am greatly enjoying Krakow.

It is warm, well not so much in regards to the weather, but their is definitely a warmth that exudes from this large city, a city that has had its fair share of heartaches and hardships. Yet, it still stands strong, remembering what it has endured and welcoming the future and those who are interested to know and be a part of all this area offers.

There is an excitement and a hope here. I could feel it as I walked through the streets of the city, but especially as I visited Graceland, a school that teaches english, runs a coffee shop, and really covers topics and conversations that get to the heart of what it means to have a relationship with God. It was an amazing opportunity to have good conversations and really share our hearts. There were moments during these classes where I looked around and it just felt as if a group of my friends gathered together just to talk and share with one another. We shared about our journey and how far GOD has brought us. We answered questions and were just honest and sincere hoping our hearts were seen. I have really enjoyed my time here in Krakow, partnering with Youth With a Mission, and really being enveloped by a country rich in history and culture and full of hope.

As I reflect on my brief time here in Krakow, I am amazed at how GOD has used us and how similar our lives and hearts are to this city. It's history is full of moments fighting for power, for tradition, for a voice. Control from different countries have added their own signature to this area, and yet, its own identity is finally taking shape. I sat there listening to my sisters share their own journeys of how far GOD has brought them. I reflected on my own history, and how today I am learning to stand much more confidently in my identity in Christ. Just as Krakow, I am not marked or defined by my past, but in who I am in HIM beyond any circumstances. And that identity is sealed.

I sit here wondering how to express my heart in words. But just as I felt the hope and rich identity of Krakow as I immersed myself in the culture and its ambiance, I pray that it is when we meet again, that my heart is seen and the hope, and Love GOD fills me with can truly be felt. For HE has brought us so far.

I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete 2 John 12

Auschwitz

Sun, 1 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Next Step

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

As I wrote the title of this blog I was taken to that moment when Grace, my niece learned to walk. She stumbled a bit, as most children do, struggling to balance yet knowing that it was all about putting one foot in front of the other and then really taking that step in confidence trusting in what she had learned.

That is actually what this year has felt like, learning what it means to truly trust in the Lord, to walk in the gifts HE has given me and to really develop my identity in HIM. I have struggled at times and still do. I have been used by GOD in ways I never thought possible, and desire to continue living this way. I am still amazed at how far HE has brought me and I know that there is more.

It is just the beginning, and yet, it is our last month on the race. I can't believe time has past so quickly. Many people are wondering what their next step will be. In fact, I am positive some of you are wondering what I will be doing next. That may be one of your first questions. For a while, I didn't have a clear answer, as I was praying for direction. But then I received that next step, that direction. I was recently accepted to the G42 Leadership Academy in Mijas, Spain.

This has been something I have been praying a lot about. The thing I battled with most is how quickly I will be heading there. I was accepted for the January 2010 term and it is a six month program. Many of you know how I enjoy traveling, but honestly, after 11 months, my heart is missing my family and friends at home. I had hoped to have more time with you all, with my parents, with Jess, Amos, Grace, and Tyler, but I know that I must walk in obedience. I know this is where I am to be. And I trust in GOD's guidance rather than my own plans.

This past year I have really learned about the passions GOD has stirred in my heart for the abandoned, rejected, and lost. GOD has used my voice to speak truth to villages and to intercede for many. HE has placed in me a desire to learn languages to translate the gospel and tell of HIS great Love and Mercy. HE has healed my broken heart to where I am no longer hindered by scars but am able to relate,with some understanding, to others who are hurting. I remember that incredible moment in Lesotho where I felt GOD moving me from a life of just existing, to much more. HE brought me freedom that I may surrender my life completely to HIM. My voice wants to speak of HIS character. My arms want to share HIS peace. My heart wants to show HIS Love. My feet want to go where HE sends me.

I have spent the year learning to follow HIM and now I must walk that out.

So why G42? "The 42nd generation is a network of Christ-followers with the mission to plant churches & ministries and to spread the Kingdom of God around the world-to inspire & develop leaders & radicals who are passionate about the poor, orphans, & laying their lives down for Christ." The academy covers courses such as servanthood, leadership, church planting, and various other topics aimed to prepare us to walk out GOD's calling on our lives.

I invite you to learn more about this six month program. I welcome any questions. And I thank you so much for your support this past year as GOD has moved in incredible ways. I am looking forward to sharing these testimonies with you. And invite you to continue being an important part of this journey.

If you would like to learn more about G42 please visit the G42 website (http://www.g42leadershipacademy.org) and learn about what they are doing. If you are interested in partnering with me and supporting me financially for any amount (as I am working on raising $1,000/month for tuition), please visit the "Donate" page, click "Intern Support" and enter my name. And if you feel led to continue praying for me, I greatly welcome that.

I thank you for being my family and surrounding me in such love, and I praise GOD for the work HE is doing in each one of our hearts, HIS provision, and HIS movement in our lives and in the world.

One Thought Leads to Another...

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

See if you can follow this train of thought...

Happy Birthday!

This is what I walked into last Friday night as I entered the pizza place downtown. My wonderful team threw me a surprise birthday party to celebrate my birthday, which doesn't actually occur until after the race. I was blessed to celebrate with Spectacle in March. And now to celebrate with the Gentle Warriors, was just a wonderful surprise!

They filled me with margarita pizza and chocolate fondue, Ukrainian chocolate candy for my cake, "twin go" (twix like candy bars from Africa), doublemint gum (notice their reminder of my twin sis, who I miss), coke, and some extra treats. They gave me a sweater and coupons for a Turkish meal and a sushi meal, and sweet handwritten letters. They know me well!

As wonderful as all the food was, the best part of it all, honestly, the part I enjoyed the most, was being able to celebrate with my sisters. These are my sisters who have seen me at my worst and my best. These are my sisters who seek to understand my heart.

We are family!

As I sit here writing about my sisters who surround me now, I begin to think about my twin sister, Jess, in the states. We have experienced a lot apart from each other this year. We have faced struggles and celebrations apart from each other. There are moments and experiences that took place in our lives that we may not be able to explain to one another, moments that GOD used to shape us and mold us into who we are now.

I was talking the other night about how strange it was for such a large group of people to know me and not know Jess. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that they do know a little about her. They may not have met her yet, but they have heard me share stories of her and our time together. They have seen pictures of her and her family. They have heard me talking to her via skype or emailing her. And by seeing who I am, they can see the impact she has had in my life. We both know things are different, we are different. But I can't help but praise GOD for teaching me how Love does not stop because of distance, but instead, the Love HE has filled us with for one another has grown and through it respect and appreciation exist.

Love grows!

I think about this as I prepare for this next season of life, which is quickly approaching. Last Sunday, Tonya shared with me that we have about six weeks left. Instantly I began to cry and couldn't stop. I am ecstatic to be reuniting with my family, to share with them my heart, but I am not naive to the fact that it will, at the same time, be difficult saying goodbye to the family I have lived with the past 11 months. But my hope is in GOD. I trust that just as the love for my family in the states has not withered, but strengthened, my love for my family here will grow in HIS care. And so that is where I place them. That is where I place me...in HIS care...In HIS hands.

Our Defender!

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

She clung to me, pulling me closer. It felt as though she was saying, "Don't let me go". Her name is Katya, and she is an orphaned baby who I visited at the children's hospital. She has AIDS and yet is fighting for a childhood, fighting to feel love.

I've been meditating on Psalm 82 a lot lately for Ukraine. Verse three states, Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the right of the poor and oppressed.

As I held her, I felt just a mere portion of HIS Love for her and that alone was overwhelming. I held her tight, I covered her in prayer, and I spoke truth to her as she is a special, precious daughter of GOD. HE is her father and her defender.

Defender! HE not only loves and protects us; HE defends us.

She is not yet 2 years old and HE has and continues defending her. HE has accepted her. HE is defending her from rejection. HE has called on others to surround her in love and to intercede for her. HE is defending her worth in HIM and as a part of our family.

As I held her so close, I wanted her to feel all of HIS Love. I wanted to protect her and care for her. I didn't want to let her go.

Do we understand how precious we are to HIM, to our Father? Will Katya know the Father's work in HER life? I praise GOD that HE defends her and loves her so very much. I praise GOD that as we cling to HIM saying, "don't let me go", HE holds us closer saying, that HE will never let us go. I praise GOD that HE is our father, our defender, our everything.

"Ministry"

Fri, 9 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

We arrived to Kiev, Ukraine unsure of the ministry we would be a part of. Nothing was actually scheduled when we arrived, but we are in Kiev where there are a variety of options. So some of you may be wondering what ministry we are actually involved in this month.

Some of you may enjoy hearing about the ministry we have at English club on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. There we work with three classes of students each class varying in their English proficiency. We spend this time investing in each of the students, having discussions about the journey we are on, and answering any questions they may have. Others may enjoy hearing about our times on Friday afternoons where we spend time loving and caring for babies and children with AIDS, such as Katya who has instantly captured my heart. To stretch out our arms and literally wrap these children in Love is an amazing, beautiful, experience.

But As I write this ministry update for you, I can't help but mention those unscheduled moments, or the rest of our time, which I like to refer to as life. Those times GOD leads me in prayer for the women of our squad, my teammates, or specific people I have met or who I may just happen to pass by. There are those times when I sit to listen to the hearts of my fellow sisters and am blessed to be used by GOD in some way to encourage them with a scripture, a word for them, or just a listening ear. There are those moments when I enter into discussion about scripture or the meaning of particular worship songs as we learn from each other.

I have been learning a lot about a life of service and ministry, a life of Love. I know I have missed several opportunities to serve as I walk out the day, but I pray that I continue to grow in recognizing the way GOD moves and the way HE moves through me.

Heard and Know

Sat, 3 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Psalm 78:3

what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us.

I read this verse and was struck by the words "heard AND known". How many times have I heard something over and over again and yet have not grasped it or really known it? When does it switch over from words we have heard, to something we know?

I've thought about this a lot, as we have traveled the world and have had conversations with many individuals asking if they know GOD. Immediately several of them can share the gospel as if it had been memorized. But how many of them really know and believe this truth beyond just hearing it?

Hebrews 8:11-12 states, No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' because they will all know me from the least of them to the greatest. For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

...to KNOW the LORD!

Once it switches from just hearing to knowing, then actions follow, foundations are set. For example, in those times we struggle, do we know that GOD is with us and in control? Or have we just heard this before and continue to worry or doubt? In those times of rejoicing do we know that we are to praise HIM? Or have we just heard this and remember to praise HIM only on Sunday's at church? Do we know that the Bible is the living word that teaches, encourages, and is filled with truth to help us live the life we are called to live? Or have we just heard about it, and just allow others to tell us what it says, opening it occasionally on Sunday's or at our Bible studies?

I know these are questions to ask myself. What have I heard? What do I know?

Let's take all the amazing truth we have heard, let's KNOW it, let's LIVE it.

1 John 5:20

We know also, that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true.

Walking On...

Thu, 1 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The other day a few of us went prayer walking through Kiev, Ukraine. We stepped off the metro and began walking down the corridor. Another metro must have just arrived since a crowd of people poured out of a nearby opening. They were walking towards us, and within just a few seconds I was caught up in a strong breeze as the crowd rushed by. There I was, walking at a slow pace in a tie dyed skirt I acquired for free in Cambodia, a brown shirt I acquired from a fellow teammate, a green scarf I crocheted in Lesotho, and broken flip flops I got in Thailand. I was walking in the opposite direction of the crowd of people who were dressed head to toe in their designer clothes and boots, mostly consisting of the gray and black color pallet.

I took in this moment, and laughed as I continued walking and praying. I've spent a lot of my life trying to fit in somewhere, to blend in, to belong. Now, here I am in Europe wearing clothes that probably would have never filled space in my closet at home, walking at a pace which gives me time to take in an area and appreciate it, heading in the opposite direction of many others. And yet, I am content. I am confident in who I am in HIM. I know the direction I am to go, following GOD.

I do struggle at times with the "image" that surrounds me and a tug to turn and walk in a different direction following others. Of course I want to feel put together and stylish and there are definite moments when I am blessed to do that, but I know there is more. I shared my heart with the ladies of the squad and included the following...

"How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" - Romans 10:15. As we look in the mirrors that seem to be everywhere, let us see HIS hands, HIS feet, and the beauty of this journey and who we have become.

Let's see past the image and surface of ourselves and others, to the heart and the beauty HE created in each one of us. Let's walk in HIS direction not our own.

Sooo...

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Are you wondering where we are headed next? So are we actually! We may not know where we are going exactly or what ministry we will be a part of this coming month, but we wait patiently as GOD's plans unfold. This I can tell you...

We are leaving Brasov, Romania tomorrow at some time, unknown as of now, and making our way on many hour long bus and train rides to Kiev, Ukraine where four-six of our teams will be and will either arrive with ministry contacts or will find our own. Two-four other teams will be heading towards the south of the Ukraine.

Sooo...that is about all the information I have for you. And strangely enough this is normal and we aren't worried, we just go where HE send us.

With Love

There is a Fight Within Me

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I was praying for Stella the other day and GOD led me to the following scripture to share with her...

Psalm 73:23-26, Yet I am always with you; you hold me by the right hand. You guide me with your counsel and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I wrote it in Romanian for her and held onto it. Throughout the day I held onto it unable to make it just two houses down to give to her. I made excuses of why I couldn't go see her. I would say, "I didn't want to overwhelm her. I wanted her to rest." Or I would say, "It is not the right time." When in reality I was closing down.

You see, death has been evident the past few days. If you have read any of my squad's blogs, particularly spectacle and indelible, you would have read of a woman who they ministered to in Swaziland passing away. She was 19. She was 19. She was 19! At the age of 15 she was raped and contracted AIDS. And at the age of 19, her body was deteriorated and worn as she could do nothing but lie in her bed to die. Even as I write this, tears fall. Darci and Anna loved her, knowing that they could do nothing but Love.

And now, I find myself faced with truly loving a beautiful women who I know is dying of cancer soon and there is nothing I can do for her, but Love her. So I fight closing down. I fight trying to protect my heart. I fight the lie that loving her is not enough. And GOD reminds me of his command.

1 John 3:23, And this is his command; to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.

1 John 4:11-12, Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

It is HIS Love. And so I walked to her house. I gave her the scripture. And as she read it, we cried together. I sat by her side, and we just cried. I fight everything that tries to hinder the Love GOD has filled me with for her. And I trust HIM with her. I trust HIM with my heart. For that is all I can do. That is all we can do.

So here is my heart.

Forgive the messiness and choppiness of this blog. For I am just sitting here and writing what comes to mind. Maybe I just needed to be honest with you all. Maybe I just wanted to share with you how easy it is to only go so far in investing in others, to hold back Love, to try to protect ourselves. That I understand, especially when loving is difficult or painful. But I fight for Love, and give GOD my heart to use in any way HE chooses. I pray that you all turn to GOD for the strength to fight against closing down, because to Love beyond all circumstances, all conditions, all expectations is to truly LOVE.

Make a Joyful Noise

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Anna and I entered the church early to pray for the women's service that was to take place later that evening. A Romanian women, who had walked with us, kneeled in the first pew and watched and listened as our prayers were spoken. The echo in the sanctuary of the church carried our prayers throughout the building. And in between prayers, Anna and I began to sing. We sang of GOD's Love. We sang of HIS faithfulness. We prayed for hearts to be softened, to hear HIS truth. We prayed that the messages shared that evening wouldn't stay within the walls of the church, but would be written on the hearts of all the women who came, and shared with their families, with the village, spreading HIS truth and Love, which can't be contained.

And then the women entered. The ladies from our squad, and from another squad that is actually in the same village, ushered in the women from Viile-Tecii and welcomed them. Conversations and fellowship took place, greetings with one another, and there was just the sound of thankfulness as we united together - sisters joining together to learn from and encourage one another.

I sat there, just listening. And my prayer became that the sound of us all gathering together would be a joyful noise for GOD. From that point on, the once silent church resounded with songs, with testimonies, with messages and declarations of the glory of GOD and HIS unfailing Love, and with prayer. Tears were shed, hearts were transparent, and we praised our GOD with one voice, as a body of women. We all have our own stories, but we have the same GOD. We have different languages, but we have the same GOD. And it is in HIM that we are sisters, we are family.

Dee (Darci) and I remained behind as the women made their way home and we prayed together, praising GOD for the way HE moved in the service, for the words spoken to each one of our hearts, HIS presence and Love felt. And though again, I found myself with just one other person praying with me, the church was still filled with HIS praises for all that took place that evening. For even HIS praises can't be contained.

May our hearts, our words, our thoughts, and our actions all be a joyful noise for GOD. Let us not hold back our testimony and praise of HIS Love, of HIS character. But rather, let us join together, listen, learn, and above all, praise.

Hebrews 13:15, Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess his name.

To Shine Like Stella, Like Stars

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Philippians 2: 14-16 - Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold onto the word of life...

I saw her over the fence as I was sitting in our courtyard area. Even from there, she radiated joy in her circumstances, and I just wanted to run to her. I had been struggling a bit not being able to get out to meet people as much as I had been able to in previous countries, but her heart just called out to me. I found out she lived only a few houses down and knew that GOD was opening the door for me to visit with her throughout this month.

Her name is Stella and she just shines beautifully. She is the only Christian in her family and continues to live a life that she prays will eventually assist in leading the rest of her family to Christ. She does it with her gentleness, her love, her actions, her words. She serves. And through her faith, she is filled.

It isn't easy, and days are difficult. At the age of 53, she finds herself dying of cancer and though is faced with pain and discomfort, as her stomach is bloated and full of liquid looking as though she was pregnant, she cares for her mother and her grandson, she walks to the store on a daily basis, and she is nothing but hospitable and welcoming to those who visit her. She doesn't complain, she prays. She doesn't ask for anything, but really appreciates one's time with her. She doesn't close off or shut down, but shines with joy and smiles with thanks. She radiates GOD and HIS work in her life.

Communication with her is minimal as I haven't really picked up on the Romanian language yet, but we do know and understand the phrase, "I love you". We do pray together. And you know she laughs that I don't wear shoes. GOD allows us to communicate simply. And I praise HIM for that. Her name is Stella, and it is such a fitting name.

May we all shine with HIS Love, HIS joy, HIS grace.

The Sweet Smell of Onions

Tue, 8 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

We arrived in Romania to find again that our plans have changed. Change is a typical World Race theme, so we just remain flexible. We have learned that nothing is definite until it happens. So we weren't too shocked when we arrived to find that there was another change and our squad will be staying in the same village of Viile-Tecii. Four teams - Gentle Warriors, Spectacle, Tikvah, and Indelible are at the same house. During the day, each team goes out to their own ministries and then returns home for the evening. Koininia and Manna are literally four houses down. And Luminous too is a little farther down the road. It is incredible that we are all in the same area and we are enjoying it greatly. It does have its challenges, as we have to be intentional about spending time with our teams, but I find it quite refreshing being able to serve and speak with others on the squad on a daily basis.

Speaking of serving, that is our ministry. The Gentle Warriors' ministry is to serve the teams staying with us. We are to prepare and serve them meals, keep the place clean, encourage them and just listen, and pour into the host family as well. It is amazing getting to serve our squad and actually having that be our ministry. I realized how much I enjoyed this the other day when I brushed the hair away from my face with my hand only to catch the smell of onions, as I had been cutting them pretty much for every meal. There is something really comforting and sweet about that smell. It brings such joy being able to serve in such a simple, satisfying way.

I think the smell of onions will always be sweet to me.

My Winter

Wed, 2 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Okay, so we didn't get the amount of snow we had hoped for, but GOD was good in providing some for us to enjoy! We still think we will get some later on in Europe. But enjoy the happiness we found with the bit of snow we did receive!

We are on our way to Romania!

My Desert in the Mountains

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Exodus 4:12

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Four Eggs and Bread

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

And HE Sends Us Out...

Wed, 5 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

* Due to having no electricity last month, I wrote out my blogs and took a picture of them to post them. So please forgive the handwriting!

From Durban to Lesotho

Sat, 1 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

And so today we depart to Lesotho. We haven't yet figured out exactly how we are going to get to the southern part of Lesotho yet, but GOD is leading us and all we can do is trust in HIM. We do have a place to stay once we get there but please understand we will not have electricity, so no internet as well. I will do my best to make contact when I can, but that may not be possible. I will continue praying for you as GOD leads and look forward to sharing with you all HE brings us through this month as we continue to trust in HIM.

Until then, enjoy the pictures of the amazing debrief we had with Koininia here in Durban, South Africa. The days were filled with rest, shopping, surfing, and even skydiving (for a few of us). GOD is good! and we are on our way to Lesotho!

Until September...

Keep It Simple

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This isn't a place where I feel led to share my testimony. And the children aren't waiting to have a theological discussion. So I ask GOD to be my words. For HIS Truth and Love for them must be shared in a way that they can understand. It must be done gently. It must be given with a sincere heart. And above all, HE reminds me to keep it simple, for it is HIS Love.

Our team began to pray over the area and the buildings at the Remar Center. I greeted the older girls as I passed them and felt led to ask them to join me. Willingly they did, and I began to explain to them what we were doing. We placed our hands on the walls, on the gates, on the bunk beds, on the doors, on the playground equipment, on the books and desks, in the kitchen, in the living room, and on the balcony that overlooks the entire area... and we prayed aloud. Each prayer was different, but they were simple prayers for protection, for peace, for wisdom, for joy, for rest, asking GOD to fill this area. Sometimes the girls repeated what I prayed, and other times they added their own. It is simple. It is HIS Love.

I write letters to Lucia. And within the letters are scriptures we discuss. We read them together and she folds the letters and carries them in her hand. As GOD leads me to scripture to share with her, HE keeps it simple. HE doesn't want to confuse her with things that she has yet to learn, but to invite her to simply embrace HIS love for her and to be open to HIS teaching and guidance. It is simple. It is HIS Love.

Paint covers the walls! Four walls were painted displaying HIS word to them. There is a prayer wall reminding the children that GOD invites them to pray to HIM. There is a creation wall displaying that they are HIS beautiful creation as their handprints cover the wall. There is a wall with all the different things they are thankful for and ways they can praise HIM. And finally there is a wall with the gospel message. These walls are not only a reminder to the children, but can also be used as a teaching tool for the older ones to share with the younger ones. It is simple. It is HIS Love.

HE invites us all to commune with HIM. I praise HIM for the simplicity of HIS unfailing, unconditional, deep consuming Love and the Spirit that teaches what we alone will never grasp. It is simply HIS Love.

Psalm 86:11-13; Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me...

------------------August Update-------------------

We will be heading to Lesotho (pronounced leh-su-tu). It is our "Ask the Lord" month so we are unsure of our ministry as of now. There is a high chance of snow this coming month so we are very excited! Cameron (from Koininia) will be joining our team for the month as well, so please pray for him as he will be with a group of all women, and pray for his team as they will be without him for the month.

Jenn + Ministry =

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

"Jennistry"

Jenni Rose is my sister. She has an incredibly beautiful servant heart. She is sincere in her words and genuine in her actions. She walks humbly in obedience and rejoices to serve others. There are no words to capture my appreciation for who she is, but I praise GOD for her friendship, a friendship that is lifelong for it is built and grows on the foundation of Christ.

When I received the news that we would be working with Koinania this month, my heart rejoiced to be serving with her. Little did I know what was going to transpire, for when we arrived to Swaziland she explained to me that I was part of her ministry.

Daily, we get together for a time we refer to as "Jennistry". Yeah, she is clever like that. She listens to me, she shares what she saw in me throughout the day as encouragement, and she gives me a note with scriptures that GOD has laid on her heart as she prays for me. It is amazing how well these scriptures line up with my day and the condition of my heart. Sometimes food is involved, or a song is played, and one "jennistry" moment included her washing my feet.

GOD has taught me a lot about humbling myself to be served and to receive this Love graciously and joyfully. Jenni Rose is my sister and I praise GOD for who she is and the way HIS love pours out of her. As she says so excitedly..."GO GOD!"

Put the Coffee Down

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I lost track of the number of cups of coffee I have had throughout my life, and yet, I know I am still not entirely awake. Believe me, parts of me are. But GOD doesn't just want parts of us. This morning I read Psalm 57:8,

Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn.

I don't want to just go through life, as if I had just rolled out of bed, going through the motions at times. I want to be awake, to be alert, and to be fully aware of GOD's presence...to be ready! I want to move when GOD says move... I want to speak when GOD says speak... I want to serve when GOD says serve...with no hesitancy or delay or even the thought, "Give me a second to get ready."

And so I put the coffee down and pray to GOD, the only One who is my source of strength, of energy, of life and love..."awaken me, all of me GOD, that I am alive in you."

The Hand of a Seven-Year Old

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The hand of a seven-year old taught me the importance of patience
The hand of a seven-year old brought hope
The hand of a seven-year old moved my heart in praise to GOD for HIS mighty power
The hand of a seven-year old became one of the most beautiful displays of GOD's creation I have seen
The hand of a seven-year old expressed Love...

As it grabbed mine and I held it so very gently and carefully letting her know she is cared for and considered very precious, not only to me, but to GOD, her Father.

I knew from the first day I was to be ministering to Lucia and investing in her. What that looked like, I didn't know. But GOD placed her in my heart to cover her in prayer, to see her heart, to cry for her and rejoice with her. During my visits to the center, GOD makes me aware of her presence and I take any opportunity to stay near to her as possible. And then it happened. As we were gathering the children together, she grabbed her backpack and sweatshirt, ran to me and then... grabbed my hand. In that simple touch, the door began to open to not only share HIS truth and Love with her through conversation, but also by being an example of HIS selfless Love.

Proverbs 31:20, She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

Take my hands GOD. Use them to share your Love. Use them to serve others. And if it is by the simple act of holding the hand of another, than may they never let go. My hands are yours. My heart is yours. My life is yours.

With open hands may we give GOD the freedom to use and direct them. And may they always be used to praise GOD who understands the beauty and strength of something as small as the hand of a seven-year old.

Get to the Heart of It

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Ministry at the Remar Center is extremely difficult, challenging, and emotionally and spiritually intense. What these children, these innocent children and their families have been through is more than one's heart can take. As we are surrounded by this brokenness day in and day out, we find the condition of our own hearts growing weary. For some, the stories sound all too familiar. For some, our hearts feel the immense amount of pain and distrust of their hearts. For some, compassion continually pours out for each one of them.

And so we spent the entire day in prayer. We prayed for them and we prayed for each other. GOD led me to Hebrews 3:12-15, See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end of the confidence we had at first. As has just been said: "Today, if you hear his voice do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion."

I meditated on this scripture as I prayed, for it speaks specifically about the heart. This world has caused many, through their sufferings and pain, to harden their hearts defensively in protection. I thought of the term "calloused" hearts. Calluses form in protection from intense pressure, from rough use, from repetitive wear and tear. And so after the heart grows tired from pain, sorrow, rejection, it can easily become calloused, hardened. But praise GOD it is not impenetrable. For GOD can soften hearts. His Love and Truth can penetrate even the most hardened of hearts. And that is my prayer for these children and these families. That their hearts once again come alive and are vulnerable in HIM, the only One whose love is unfailing.

And I pray for my brothers and sisters who are ministering alongside me. I pray that our hearts do not grow weary, but persevere knowing that there are hearts seeking Hope and Truth. I pray that we trust that GOD is moving and HIS words are being rooted, deeply rooted, in the hearts of HIS children.

Be Present...

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

And allow GOD to move.

She didn't come running. She didn't give a smile freely or too easily. She didn't follow me. She didn't talk too much. She didn't laugh. But my time with her was precious. It was meaningful. I didn't expect anything in return. I wanted nothing from her. But I wanted her to know she is important, she is noticed. Her name is Lucia and she is seven. She feels alone and does not easily trust. And so I sat with her. We began drawing pictures together and that is what we shared. But it took time before this interaction took place. Yet I was content in just sitting with her. As long as it took, I was willing and honored to just be present with her.

She is one of the many children living at the Remar Center. This is an international organization for those who are facing drug rehabilitation. But here, in Swaziland, it has also become a shelter for those who were removed from their homes because of physical, mental, and sexual abuse. My heart aches for those who have been used and mistreated. They aren't quick to swarm around us, our trust must be earned, our patience is tested, and I understand more of what it means to trust GOD to move, for I can do nothing of my own strength and wisdom to comfort such brokenness.

So what are we doing here? We are investing, we are serving, we are sharing GOD's word... and we are called to love. 1 John 1:3, We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. That is what this ministry is about, creating fellowship. It is about sharing and serving each other so that they may too know and walk in Truth and Light. We will be teaching HIS word and truth as we share our passions with the children and families. I have spent a few of the days drawing in the sand with the children and hope to soon utilize all of our creativity to paint a mural on the blank walls of the center as a consistent reminder of GOD's love and promises, and of the gifts HE has given each of them.

And I pray. I pray that as we are present each day that GOD will move throughout the hearts of HIS children, throughout this home, fostering fellowship, healing, hope, and growing the family of GOD.

Go On Eating?...

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Or stop and do something!

"Oh my GOD, this is terrible and then they will go on eating their dinners." Hotel Rwanda

For a while my heart has really been calling out to those facing distress or unrest and so of course I took the time to watch Hotel Rwanda today. I sat there, my heart breaking, tears streaming down my face. Jenni Rose and Becca gently place their hands on my back in comfort as I'm leaning forward sitting as close to the screen as possible desiring so much to run to Rwanda, to be with the people. Even now, though this holocaust took place in 1994, I can only imagine the condition of the hearts of the survivors, who may be alive, but have seen their families killed, their friends tortured, and their country ravaged by hatred.

And it continues.

In some places, civil war is still taking place. In some places, battles for power terrorize the lives of many. In some places, children are killed, families are torn apart, and violence claims innocent lives. To hear gunshots as an everyday occurrence, to be afraid to walk down the street, to be considered of little or no value because of your heritage, your tribe, your ancestry, is incomprehensible to many of us, yet it is happening.

Hatred is consuming and blinding many and darkness spreads. 1 John 2:11, But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him. Let's bring light.

In the movie, Hotel Rwanda, footage is captured of the massacre taking place. One man sees this as hope that as other countries see what is really going on they will intervene to help bring peace to the situation. Yet the man who took the footage claims that most will see it and say it is terrible, and then go on eating their dinners.

What? How can I? How can we? As I minister here in the peaceful, beautiful country of Swaziland, I am still called to action. What is more powerful than prayer? I feel led to fast dinner and spend the time in prayer for those facing this unrest. I will be fasting dinner every day I am in Africa. And I feel led to share this with you and invite you to join me in some way. I ask you to be aware of all this going on around you, in your own communities, and in the world, and not to see us divided by borders and seas, but united as brothers and sisters. I ask you to pray about what GOD is leading you to do for our family in need. If it is fasting a dinner a week and covering them in prayer, if it sharing with your family what others might be facing bringing to light the situations that do exist, if it is checking the condition of your own heart with those you struggle to relate to or understand, then let's walk in that obedience together.

Zimbabwe Ministry Video

Tue, 7 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

GOD is incredible and I am so thankful for my time in Zimbabwe. It is amazing all HE is doing there and all HE is doing within each of us! Tomorrow, Wednesday, we are on our way to Swaziland. I am unsure of what internet connection will be like throughout the rest of our travels. So please forgive my absense of communication at times. I ask for prayer as we continue this journey, and also for the safety of our squad until we reunite again at the end of August. It will be a beautiful reunion when we come back together and share what GOD has done the past two months in praise to HIM.